Mobile Mutt: Texting your dog while stuck at a holiday gathering

We've all been there. Stuck at some lame gathering, fake-smiling your way through boring (and sometimes downright offensive) conversations. You wish you could just snuggle up on the couch with your animal companion. If only our pets had phones, then at least we could text them! But what would we say?

At Christmas dinner:

OMG Uncle Roy drinks scotch like u drink water

Wish u were here 2 eat this nasty bread pudding

I bet u know more about politics than Aunt Karen

Why isn't everyone silent and adorable like you?

SAVE ME FROM MY FAMILY.

At a holiday work party:

I can't believe I ditched marathoning Community on the couch with u for this

Ur probably sleeping rn, SO JEALOUS

These ppl need to get drunk just to be as much fun as u

Just showed my boss a pic of u! #browniepoints

At a friend's Secret Santa gift exchange:

Think I can shrink this sweater to fit u

Can u eat fruitcake I forget

Ugh Patricia ended up with dog biscuits #Itried

Looks like we're gonna be watching Bad Santa 2gether